About the Book

About the Author

About the Illustrator

Sample Stories

 

 

 

Rudolph

Several years ago President George W. Bush and his wife Laura were meeting in Moscow with a group of Russian leaders, one of whom was named Rudolph Georsky. During a break in the talks, they noticed storm clouds gathering in the distance.

George turned to Laura and said, "Look, dear, it's going to snow."

"Nyet!" Rudolph exclaimed. "Ive lived here all my life and I think it's not going to snow. It's going to rain!"

"Well," Bush responded, "It sure seems to be cold enough to snow."

Rudolph disagreed again and the argument became heated. Seeing no end to the argument, Laura interrupted and said to George:
"Rudolph, the red, knows rain, dear!"

Impressionist Thief

A thief in Paris made elaborate plans to steal some paintings from the Louvre Art Museum. In particular he was interested in Impressionists paintings. He spent weeks studying the entrances and exits of the museum. He studied the alarm system in minute detail and learned how to disable it. He carefully observed the behavior of the guards to establish the pattern they took in making their rounds.

Late one night he put all his research into action. He was successful in penetrating all the security devices and carried 6 paintings out to his van.

He only drove about 2 blocks before he ran out of gas. Of course, the police caught and arrested him. During the interrogation that followed they asked why, with such an elaborate setup, he hadn't filled his van with gas.

His reply: "I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh!"

Bar String

A string went into a bar to have a drink. As he walked in, the bartender carefully surveyed him. The string marched up to the bar and said, "Give me a shot of whiskey on the rocks."

The bartender asked, "Are you a string?" The string replied, "Certainly, I'm a string. Why do you ask?" "We don't serve strings in here, buddy!" the bartender growled. "OK, if that's your attitude, I'll take my business elsewhere," the string said and he slipped out the door.

He tried a couple of other bars and got the same treatment. As he was preparing to enter a fourth bar, the string tripped and tied himself in knots. He looked terrible. His top was in disarray. He straightened himself out as best he could, then resolutely strode into the first bar again.

When he ordered, the bartender said, "Are you a string?"

The string replied:  No, I'm a frayed knot."